What To Do When Someone With PTSD Pushes You Away?

PTSD, standing for post-traumatic stress disorder, is a severe mental condition occurring as a reaction to experiencing a traumatic event. In the popular mind, PTSD is often connected with participation in warfare, which is one common cause of the disorder. However, there are many reasons which can lead to PTSD development. Among them might be domestic violence, natural disasters, sexual assault, child abuse, traffic collisions, etc. In other words, this mental issue often happens because of any experience of a life-threatening situation or prolonged trauma. [1]

PTSD patients may suffer from a variety of symptoms. Among them are re-experiencing ones, making people mentally come back to a traumatic moment. It can be expressed in flashbacks, nightmares, intrusive thoughts, or even physical sensations. Those struggling with the disorder can also have a desire to avoid places or people, which complicates a lot in helping them. There might be other cognitive and physical symptoms, such as negative thoughts, memory problems, guilt or blame, irritability, sleep disturbances, concentration issues, etc. One more possible symptom, self-destructive behavior, requires special attention as it is potentially harmful. [2]

Types of Trauma

As the main factor of PTSD is trauma, it’ll be helpful to look at its types. Not every one of them may be a cause of the disorder. Anyway, it should be considered as a reason to go to a specialist. Basic categories could include little ‘t’ and big ‘T’ trauma. Little ‘t’ events are not life-threatening but still capable of causing significant emotional distress. Examples can be moving to a new place, sudden resignation, or experiencing a non-traumatic bereavement of loved ones. Big ‘T’ trauma refers to major events like violence, death, natural disasters, etc. More nuanced classification would include the following:

• Acute trauma. It arises from highly stressful or dangerous single situations. Such trauma is a one-time and simultaneously severe for someone’s psyche event, like, for instance, a car accident or violent attack. It can cause PTSD or any other psychological reactions.
• Chronic trauma. As its name implies, this trauma type is characterized by a lasting impact of traumatic events or environments. Sibling abuse, bullying, and excessively strict parenting serve as a case in point. It can violate victims’ sense of safety, control, and stability and contributes to different mental health conditions development.
• Complex trauma. It’s a combination of different long-acting traumatic events. This trauma often occurs amid interpersonal relationships where trust and care are expected. Instead, traumatized people were abused, neglected, or abandoned. For this reason, a complex trauma frequently develops in childhood. It may lead to long-term problems with physical and mental health, including PTSD.
• Historical, collective, or intergenerational trauma. It impacts communities or groups of people, passed down through generations. The historical baggage of the Holocaust, slavery, and genocide experience might affect mental health across generations.
• Vicarious or secondary trauma. It’s also known as the trauma of a witness. Therapists or family members of trauma survivors are at risk of getting vicarious trauma. [3][4]

What to Do When Someone with PTSD or Complex PTSD Pushes You Away?

One of the consequences of PTSD is that people with it can hardly accept any help. They may even push away everybody who tries to support them, even friends and loved ones. This behavior pattern can give them a sense of control in a hostile environment and be caused by fear of judgment or trust issues. One more reason for such a demeanor might be troubled emotional control. So, if you have a family member or friend with PTSD or complex post-traumatic stress disorder, you should find your approach to use them effectively. Here are some points on how to do it with empathy and understanding:

• Comprehend their behavior. In most cases, pushing away and other adverse reactions of persons with PTSD stem from their mental condition. That’s why we shouldn’t take it personally. It also will be helpful to get a consultation from a specialist like URP Behavioral Health on how to talk to individuals with the disorder.
• Respect their boundaries. It means allowing them to control communication level and intensity. Relatives and close ones of patients with PTSD should avoid pushing them to talk if they’re not ready. It helps prevent unnecessary arguments and possible angry outbursts. It needs to consider their requirement for personal space as well.
• Identify triggers. It’s very profitable to recognize certain warning signs of distress, such as mood shifts or irritability. Recognizing these signs can help those with the disorder calm down and return to the present moment. Their loved ones and friends should also be aware of triggers that might cause distress and help avoid them.
• Encourage professional help. Those who want to support people with PTSD should motivate them to seek professional help and avoid pushing them. It’s essential because they may not want to get the consultation or therapy.
• Self-care. Supporting those struggling with the condition can be energy-demanding. That’s why family members should prioritize self-care to prevent emotional burnout. Or in other words, put on your oxygen mask first. [5]

Post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental issue developing from a psychological trauma. It may be caused by experiencing any life-threatening situation or prolonged abuse like a car crash or sexual assault. There are several trauma types, and not all of them can lead to PTSD. Still, any trauma should be considered a reason to seek professional assistance. Those struggling with the disorder can push away any help because of experiencing it in the past. That’s why family members and friends of such people should know how to help them properly. If you seek a consultation, try URP Behavioral Health for comprehensive mental health treatment.

References:

1. NHS. Overview – Post-traumatic stress disorder. https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/conditions/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd/overview/. 13 May 2022
2. Mind. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/post-traumatic-stress-disorder-ptsd-and-complex-ptsd/symptoms/. Jan 2021
3. Alex Salman. Types of Trauma. https://clearbehavioralhealth.com/types-of-trauma/. Dec 6, 2024
4. The Trauma Practice. Types Of Trauma. https://traumapractice.co.uk/types-of-trauma/
5. Munster Behavioral Health. What to Do When Someone with PTSD Pushes You Away? https://munsterbehavioralhealth.com/what-to-do-when-someone-with-ptsd-pushes-you-away/